What makes your work worthwhile? What makes you feel successful? What frame of mind is necessary for you to function at your best?
For me, these answers involve providing for my family, knowing i’m actually ABLE….no incredibly well-equipped to provide for my family (doing something i love and that fulfills me), and also being comfortable with the fact that i am a type-A control freak, worry-wort who needs calm and peacefulness in order to dig in and do the work required of me.
That’s why i’ve got a swing in my office.
My newborn sleeps in it peacefully at my side while i peck away on the computer…. and sketch at my lightbox…. and paint ….and email.
The rhythmic clicking of the motor keeps me ever-mindful of my goal. Its like a clock ticking. The baby will be awake at regular intervals demanding to be fed and i’m the only restaurant in town. i must get my work done in a timely fashion so as not to feel flustered and behind schedule each time these forced breaks occur.
The swing reminds me why i work, what really matters. It makes me feel like superwoman to retrieve the binky that’s fallen into the crevice of his seat and replace it with my left hand, while hitting “send” on a client email with my right hand. i feel like i’m in total control of my life and my business as the swing sways away by my knee, i chat up my 5 year old nearby at his art table, and simultaneously create new art and designs on my graphics tablet…all while sipping on mugs of decaf.
Sure, i could have the baby in a crib or bassinet in some other room. But i like being able to look at him all the time. Seems like he changes and grows every hour! Having him near me and safe actually fuels my creativity and my confidence in the fact that i can maybe, sorta do it ALL! That’s a pretty awesome feeling.
So, this is the fullness of my life at the moment. i will never have it again….at least, never just quite like this. One day very soon, there will be no swing in my office. But for now. It is perfection.